7 Life Lessons Learned Making Gravy With My Grandmother

The icebreaker at a recent meeting of the Step Up Women’s Network national board, for which I serve as the vice chair, was to name a woman alive today that we’d most like to have a conversation with and why. As you might expect, going around the room, the names proffered were among the most notable in government, finance and business. Except, that is, for me. Try as I might, the only person who came to mind was my Grandmom Nina, better known among the family as the General or the Boss, who passed away in August.
Growing up, I spent most family dinners and holidays in the kitchen as her sous chef. I sliced and diced, chopped and mashed, mixed and kneaded, stirred and sautéed, and, post-meal, washed and dried. At Grandmom Nina’s side, I mastered the art of whipping meager leftovers into a gourmet feast. I also learned to prepare a dinner for 50+ while entertaining unexpected visitors. And, when she turned “juice mixologist,” I was her trusty taste-tester although, honestly, seldom did any of her concoctions yield a “tasty” result.
While we dipped, breaded and fried pound after pound of chicken cutlet, I learned as much about how to “put food on the table” literally as I did figuratively. You see, at age 40, my grandmother turned family breadwinner when she was widowed with seven children, then ages 5 through 16, to support. She worked three jobs to keep them clothed, fed and sheltered. As it turned out, she had as good a nose for business as she did for making “gravy,” even winning a sales award for a line of cleaning products sold out of her home.
For a woman whose only degree was from the “school of hard knocks,” my grandmother’s insights and instincts on what it takes to succeed in life and business turned out to be an inheritance more valuable than any jewelry or any amount of money. They provided a powerful inner compass that has enabled me to become the person and professional I am today. After her death, I jotted them down and distilled them into seven ingredients, which seemed fitting since she had seven children. They are:

1. Keep “gas in the tank”: keep your mind sharp by learning something every day.
2. Que sera, sera: focus on what you can control rather than on what you can’t.
3. Don’t look back: stop beating yourself over mistakes. Let go and move forward.
4. Know who you are and where you are going: act with integrity and purpose.
5. Mind your words: say what you mean and mean what you say.
6. Never say goodbye: don’t burn bridges behind you. Think long-term and strive to find a win-win.
7. The more you listen, the more you learn. The more you talk, the more mistakes you make.

I think of all the time we spent together and the many lessons that were left on the table, so to speak, because I wasn’t wise enough – or patient enough -- to catch them. I would give anything to hear my grandmother say one more time, “Linda, let me tell you a story.”